Tag Archives: busy

the other side

Does anyone talk about the other side of having a mental illness.
We all know the dark side, the side that hides and lives in the shadows.
But what about the other side?

I do the opposite of what a lot of people do, no matter what, I rarely hide away and vanish.
Yes I am a hermit, but I am the girl that responds to every text message right away.
No matter what, I will be there for people.
I am not the type of person to use the words “I’m busy.”
I will be there for someone, even if my mind is tearing me apart, and I don’t know where I begin and the darkness ends.
I will still answer your text.
It makes me anxious not to get back to people.
Knowing someone could need me in that second, but I was “too busy” to respond.
Because of this,
people seem to think I sit around all day waiting by the phone.
No.
I have mastered the art of multi tasking.
I could be in the middle of something very important, and I will still get back to you, probably right away.
I put others before myself.
Just because I get back to you right away,
do not assume that I sit around with nothing to do.
People are too busy in this day and age to even acknowledge one another.
Yet it is so easy to stay in contact and make time for people.
Yes, I do have a problem, I put everyone else above myself.
Trust me, I’ve learned time and time again what a bad idea that is.
But yet here I am.
Still doing it.
No matter how much I have going on,
no matter how bad the battle going on in my mind is that day,
I will be there.
Please don’t take advantage of my kindness.
Even if you do, I will still be the same way.

There are days that I wish beyond anything that I could fully vanish.
Leave all my feelings and cares behind.
Humans are my biggest love, but also my worst fear, even more so then my own mind.

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