The darkness gets stronger every time.
I do not see a point in living a life like this.
When every day I debate taking my own life.
The only reason I haven’t is because I feel guilty.
I have no interest being alive anymore, none, zero.
I cannot deal with this anymore.
The cards I was dealt were shit, and I cannot continue.
If that makes me weak, then so be it.
I have fought long and hard enough.
And I just can’t do it anymore.
I have no trust left in people and none in myself.
Every time the darkness gets worse,
there wont be anything left.
I can’t afford therapy, of even believe it will work.
I don’t want to go on medication again,
because that never worked.
I am a burned on my parents and my friends.
I know they can’t handle me anymore.
I rarely even tell anyone how bad it is,
because I know everyone is so sick of hearing it.
I’ve never felt more alone in my entire life.
But its better that way.
Lately I just hate myself.
I hate every aspect of myself.
I hate every aspect of this world.
Its so hard for people to understand how it can get to this point.
I’ve just been fighting it so long, and I can’t anymore.
I’m throwing in the towel.
My battle is done.