So this blog is about my life with bpd, but I haven’t gone into to much detail about what it is that I specifically go through on a daily basis. When it comes to online interaction, (or even interactions with people are work or in public), people see what I want them to see, so very few people know what my mental illness is like first hand. I have been trying to promote awareness for mental health issues for awhile in my own way, I want people to realize it is just as real as any physical illness. Here is some information about what I have.
What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness marked by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships. In 1980, theDiagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders, Third Edition(DSM-III) listed BPD as a diagnosable illness for the first time. Most psychiatrists and other mental health professionals use the DSM to diagnose mental illnesses.
Because some people with severe BPD have brief psychotic episodes, experts originally thought of this illness as atypical, or borderline, versions of other mental disorders. While mental health experts now generally agree that the name “borderline personality disorder” is misleading, a more accurate term does not exist yet.
Most people who have BPD suffer from:
· Problems with regulating emotions and thoughts · Impulsive and reckless behavior · Unstable relationships with other people. (People with this disorder also have high rates of co-occurring disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and eating disorders, along with self-harm, suicidal behaviors, and completed suicides.)
Signs & Symptoms
According to the DSM, Fourth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR), to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, a person must show an enduring pattern of behavior that includes at least five of the following symptoms:
· Extreme reactions—including panic, depression, rage, or frantic actions—to abandonment, whether real or perceived · A pattern of intense and stormy relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often veering from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation) · Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices) · Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating · Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting · Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days · Chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom · Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger · Having stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality.
Seemingly mundane events may trigger symptoms. For example, people with BPD may feel angry and distressed over minor separations—such as vacations, business trips, or sudden changes of plans—from people to whom they feel close. Studies show that people with this disorder may see anger in an emotionally neutral face and have a stronger reaction to words with negative meanings than people who do not have the disorder.
Lets just saying BPD is fun. For my whole life, it has been clear that there was something “wrong” with me. In high school my parents tried to find some help for me. It has not been an easy journey. The amount of medications I have been on and doctors that I have spoken with is ridiculously high. It was only recently suggested to me, that BPD might be what I have. After doing my own bit of research, i can say that this has been the only thing that has made any sense. Knowing what to call it made me feel a bit of relief.
That is probably a lot to take in. All this information I collected from websites (I don’t remember which ones as I have had this saved on my computer for awhile).